Solitude may imply a condition of being apart from all human beings or of being cut off by wish or circumstances. May be associated with freedom to be with One’s Self. Many crave solitude in our busy fast-paced overstimulated lives. How about being alone in nature. Many try silence or “darkness” retreats to be cut off from constant bombardments of social media and demands of society, wanting rest in silence, in the womb of the mother. This is done to recharge, gain clarity of what to do next. In silence, peace, complete sensory deprivation and without distractions.
We are all tired and stressed, and we all crave peace on this planet. Where can we get it- away from all, best – in nature, with no social media present that creates frenzy and misinformation about our lives and powers. One way to empower ourselves is to get away from it all.
Do we easily get lonely? Yes, we do, because we are a “social” species. But can we train ourselves to need less stimulation and crave less? Yes, just talk to your Soul.
And then you realize that you are never alone, you have never been alone. Your Soul is always with you. Ask questions and listen for the answers in the form of images, or intuitive thoughts, dreams, day dreaming. Vision quest about what to do next or where to go next is best done in deep silence to allow for clarity.
However, we are told that there is an epidemic of loneliness, and we are all suffering from disconnection from each other. Loneliness is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Loneliness is also described as social pain – a psychological mechanism which motivates individuals to seek social connections. It is often associated with a perceived lack of connection and intimacy.
Hence, there is a distinction between being alone and feeling lonely. Whether loneliness is short term or long term, it can be intense and painful. Longing for human contact and support is overpowering. The causes of feeling lonely could be due to cultural factors given massive geopolitical migration is a given in migrants or could be due to dependence on passive technologies like social media, internet, where you are consuming what is given. Addictions to cellular phones is real. When offered a choice of having access to the cellular phones and social media and going to jail, or staying free without such access, people choose access to social media that makes them feel less isolated and being imprisoned.
Research has shown that loneliness is found throughout society, including among people in marriages along with other strong relationships, and those with successful careers. Most people experience loneliness at some points in their lives, and some feel it often. The effects of loneliness are also varied. Brief periods of loneliness lead to stronger relationships, while chronic loneliness is associated with negative effects, including increased obesity, substance use, depression, inflammation, heart disease, and risk of death and suicide.
Studies of the brain have found mostly negative effects from chronic loneliness on brain functioning and structure. However, certain parts of the brain and specific functions, like the ability to detect social threat, appear to be strengthened. A 2020 population-genetics study looked for signatures of loneliness in grey matter morphology and function in the Default Mode Network (DMN). This higher associative network shows more consistent loneliness associations in grey matter volume than other cortical brain networks. Lonely individuals display stronger functional communication in the default network, and greater microstructural integrity of its pathways. These findings fit with the possibility that the increased activity of these neural circuits supports mentalizing, reminiscence and imagination to fill the social void.
Loneliness has been shown to increase the concentration of cortisol- stress hormone levels in the body and weaken the effects of dopamine, the enjoyment chemical. Prolonged, high cortisol levels can cause anxiety, depression, digestive problems, heart disease, sleep problems, and weight gain, and increase the risk of dementia by one-third. Not having a partner (being single, divorced, or widowed) doubled the risk of dementia. However, having two or three closer relationships reduced the risk by three-fifths. And based on the large UK Biobank cohort, a study found that individuals who reported feeling lonely had a higher risk of developing Parkinson’s disease.
A meta- analyses found a significant association between loneliness and increased mortality. People with good social relationships were found to have a 50% greater chance of survival compared to lonely people. In other words, chronic loneliness seems to be a risk factor for death comparable to smoking, and greater than obesity or lack of exercise. Not surprisingly, the Blue Zone research of longevity identifies social support and increased life meaning and purpose was associated with longevity and better health later in life.
Children and young adults seem to be having a harder time with a lack of social connections leading to self-destructive and anti-social aggressive behaviors. In both children and adults, loneliness often has a negative impact on learning and memory, and disrupted sleep. Lonely millennials are more likely to have mental health problems or be unemployed when the feel disconnected from their peers.
Pain, depression, and fatigue function as a symptom cluster and thus may share common risk factors. Two studies with different populations demonstrated that loneliness was a risk factor for the development of the pain, depression, and fatigue symptom cluster over time. These data also highlight the health risks of loneliness; pain, depression, and fatigue often accompany serious illness and place people at risk for poor health and mortality.
Dr Vivek Murthy, the Surgeon General of the United States, has proclaimed the epidemic of loneliness in the 21st century, that was amplified by the COVID-19 pandemic and related isolation. It can be relieved by psychotherapy or antidepressants, social activities, group activities (exercise, hobbies, or religious activities). Our pets make us feel loved and supported, and not alone. For older adults, group homes are created to keep them from feeling lonely when they need more help and company. Even social robots are becoming more popular replacing human company. The attachment to the device that responds back and understands your preferences easily replaces human connection, or even marriages.
Loneliness has always been a subject of art, books, in the depiction of human suffering. It is also used in practices of torture like in a solitary confinement that drives unprepared minds mad. While the long-term effects of extended periods of loneliness are little understood, it has been noted that people who are isolated or experience loneliness for a long period of time fall into an “ontological crisis,” where they are not sure if they or their surroundings exist, and if they do, exactly who or what they are, creating torment, suffering, and despair to the point of palpability within the thoughts of the person.
However, monks across religions and yogis subjected themselves to solitary confinement in cells and caves for most of their lives , in order to isolate from the noisy preoccupied world and cultivate their closeness to God and their Higher Selves.
In the end, is all a matter of social conditioning and perspective. To solve the problem of loneliness, can’t we simply train ourselves to be comfortable with being alone and safe and protected in the presence of our Souls? We are told that isolation is bad for us, but that is without providing training about how to be alone and how to cultivate our skills of not feeling alone, and feeling safe, connected, and supported. Maybe we can learn from the monks? That is where training in meditation, breathwork, being in nature, writing or saying intentions, gratitude training comes from, including trusting yourself and the power of your Soul and mind to create the reality that you want, and not fall apart when you are alone. But really, we are never alone…
